The Crossroads Between Should and Must

 I'm not brave.

Taking a flying leap of faith (in yourself) off a cliff isn't something I have within myself to just do on a whim. Leaving behind the comfort of what you Should Do in search of your Must Do is a terrifying thought.

I won't lie to myself and say money and support from my peers and family isn't important to me. Maybe I've just grown up in an environment where I was conditioned to think I needed to put off my own desires until I accomplish something more reasonable. Reading the article about making the decision between what you should do and what you must do had me asking myself some important questions. Why am I not thinking of my own goals and dreams as reasonable? Is it not reasonable to use my life to go after what I want and not what others tell me I need?

Honestly, even as I was reading and making some important revelations, I know I am not quite ready to give up Should. I have a plan in place and fears that I've yet to confront about giving it up. I hate letting people down and I don't cope well with failure. I overthink things and I second guess myself. One day I want with all my heart to choose Must. I want to be the person that faces reality and makes it succumb to my will. I also know that one day I will. One day when I know who I am or at least what it is I'm after. I just don't know that yet.

I'm not brave, but I want to be.